For many of us, the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” is practically automatic — something we ask children from preschool onward. At first it’s lighthearted, leading to cute answers like “a chef” or “a lion,” but as kids get older, the question takes on more pressure. By middle school and high school, students are expected to decide on careers, pick classes, and choose college majors — sometimes before they even truly understand themselves.

What starts as a simple conversation becomes a heavy demand for certainty in a world where work is constantly changing. Many young people today will hold multiple jobs, switch careers, or even create entirely new kinds of work that don’t yet exist. Asking kids to name a future profession can unintentionally trap them into thinking they must choose one specific role to define their lives.

 

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Instead of trying to narrow children’s focus to a job title, educators and parents should help them explore who they are — their strengths, interests, passions, and values. Understanding themselves lays a foundation for meaningful goals and helps foster qualities like adaptability, resilience, and curiosity — skills that are far more valuable than naming a single career too early.

To support this broader vision, adults can:

• Talk about interests and passions: Ask children what they enjoy doing and what feels meaningful to them, rather than what job they want.

• Encourage goal setting: Help them set short- and long-term goals related to learning and growth, not just careers.

• Explore skills: Focus on developing abilities they’ll need in a variety of life situations, such as problem-solving, communication, and teamwork.

• Expose kids to many options: Allow them to meet people from different fields and try different experiences so they understand the range of possibilities.

• Define success personally: Help them figure out what success means to them — whether it’s helping others, creating art, solving problems, or achieving personal milestones.

By shifting the focus from what job they want to who they are and what they value, kids can grow up with a flexible sense of identity and purpose — one that allows them to adapt as the world of work evolves.